hankyoreh

The mother of Lee Nam-hun, who died in the crowd crush in Itaewon on Oct. 29, sheds tears while taking part in a press conference by bereaved families held at the Minbyun offices in Seoul’s Seocho District on Nov. 22. (pool photo)

“I regret not hugging you more often when you were born, when you still carried such warmth,” said the father of Lee Sang-eun, a 25-year-old who died in the tragic crowd crush in Itaewon last month.

“They say you will only be able to go to a better place if your mother and I let you go. So goodbye, my daughter.”

And thus, he said his last goodbye to his daughter.

Around 30 family members of those killed in the Oct. 29 Itaewon crowd crush gathered to make their voices heard about the incident for the first time in public at a press conference held at the Minbyun - Lawyers for a Democratic Society’s office in Seocho District, Seoul, on Tuesday.

As soon as the moment of silence for the deceased started, the sobs of the family members filled the room.

“Please, take us instead of our children. Please, let them come back to enjoy life,” a bereaved father cried out, prompting other families next to him to also burst into tears.

The messages the bereaved families spoke of in their first public statement were full of longing for the family members — mostly sons and daughters — they had to say goodbye to.

The mother of Lee Nam-hun (29) said that she “still couldn’t accept that this was real.”

“My son’s cell phone was turned off, but that didn’t stop his alarm to go into work from going off at 5:30 am. I don’t know how hard it was to live as a young person in this competitive country. My son, who used to keep mum about his back pain as he worked; my son, who didn’t get enough sleep; my son, who gave his all to survive, is no longer with me.”

“I can’t live without my Nam-hun,” she went on, trailing off as she was overcome with tears.

Family members of those who perished in the tragic Itaewon crowd crush last month stand and bow their heads in a moment of silence ahead of beginning their press conference held at the Miinbyun offices in Seoul’s Seocho District on Nov. 22. (pool photo)

The mother of actor Lee Ji-han (24), another victim, released the last recording she has of her son’s voice, in which he said, “Happy birthday, mom. I love you!” His mother said that on the day of the disaster, her cheeks and stomach became hollow, as if she hadn’t eaten anything, and her heart ached.

“I was afraid of the sun rising, and I didn’t even want to drink water,” she said, a testament to how the pain is very much ongoing.

The families of the victims announced six demands at their press conference on Tuesday. First, for the president to issue a sincere apology for the event and for the government to release a statement owning up to the fact that the government, local councils, and the police bear responsibility for the event; a thorough investigation into the tragedy, in which nothing is off-limits; to allow the victims or the families to participate in the ongoing investigation; clear communication with the victims and those affected and providing them with humanitarian support; measures to ensure that the victims are remembered and mourned; and measures to protect the deceased from defamation.

The families strongly criticized the rescue efforts at the time of the incident as well as the government’s irresponsible response to the situation and to their indifference towards the bereaved.

Lee Nam-hun’s mother disclosed her son’s death certificate at the conference. “The time of death is unknown, and the place of death is merely listed as ‘on the streets of Itaewon,’” she said.

“How do you expect me to accept the death of my child without even knowing how or where he exactly died? I should at least know whether he received CPR or if he died while being transferred to the hospital.” She went on to say that “a thorough investigation should be held, and the president should give an official apology if this administration thinks anything of the pain of the bereaved.”

A family member of a young Korean woman killed in the crowd crush in Itaewon weeps during a press conference held at the Minbyun offices in Seoul’s Seocho District on Nov. 22. (pool photo)

The mother of Korean Austrian victim Kim In-hong (24) said that her son came to study at Yonsei University Korean Language Institute to explore his Korean roots only to lose his life in the Itaewon tragedy.

“The hardest thing is that the political leaders of this country aren’t admitting that they are in the wrong. I found it so stressful that I couldn’t say ‘what is wrong, is wrong,’” she said. “Now the Korean government owes me an apology. I will leave on Nov. 28 for my son’s funeral, but I will do what I should in Vienna.”

Many criticized the government’s failure to provide a space for the bereaved to communicate with one another. The father of Lee Mi-na said, “The only people that can comfort those who have lost family members are those who have also lost family. The government’s response has basically blocked this from happening, which is far from humane."

He went on to say that he thought the issue of disclosing the names of the victims became the subject of social debate because there had been no space provided for the bereaved to meet and discuss the issue.

Speaking with tears in their eyes, another bereaved family member said, “Disclosing the names of the victims was salt in the wound, but setting up a memorial altar without mortuary tablets or photos also felt like secondary victimization to me.”

Seo Chae-wan, a lawyer on Minbyun’s task force for investigating and providing legal support in relation to the Oct. 29 tragedy, said, “The bereaved never got any explanation for when or why their children were laid to rest in whichever hospital. Some families know about the support given to the bereaved, while some know nothing. Some did not even know that there was a one-on-one support system.”

He also went on to say that the families are “wary” of any economical compensation.

“This is not something that can be covered with money,” Seo said. “In addition, with the details of the disaster getting published, there are many hateful comments, which are only adding salt to still-smarting wounds. It is a serious situation.”

By Jang Ye-ji, staff reporter

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